Don’t Look Back… You’re Not Going That Way

don't look back

If I drove my car while looking back… I would surely crash. So why is it that I have lived my life looking back? Every decision I have made, seems to be rooted in the past. Failures or mistakes of the past have colored these decisions. Every new experience causes me to wonder if I will make the same mistakes, or will result in the same failures.

I may be a slow learner, but at least I am learning! I am coming to believe that if I focus on today, knowing that I am a different (maybe even better) person than I was in the past, it is not necessary to repeat the past. How many times have we failed to hear our friend’s laughter, the sound of the birds chirping, the smell of honeysuckle flowers which came into bloom recently? We were never able to lay claim to them because we were so lost in our own thoughts about yesterday or tomorrow.

Staying in today, staying in the NOW…. this is the only way to grow. Looking back and living in the past will keep you stuck, not allowing you to grow and change into the person you were meant to be.

This instant is the only time there is. ~ Gerald Jampolsky

Turn your head around… stop looking over your shoulder… stop judging yourself so harshly for mistakes you’ve made. Today is a new day. It may very well be the start of your new life. Go forward, and don’t look back!

~ Patti Crowley

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Your Past is Simply a Story You Tell Yourself

your past is just a story

I personally know so many people that have spent years in therapy trying to sort out their past in a valiant attempt to discover how it has molded them into the person they are today. Many look to find some person, place, or situation in which to place blame for their shortcomings as if the discovery will somehow repair their faults or bring peace where it did not previously exist. However, I firmly believe that our past is just a story we tell ourselves, and like the saying above, it has absolutely NO power over you!

Have you ever seen one of those “tests” where they observe a group of people witnessing the same event at the same time?  When each observer is asked to describe what he or she saw, their experience or interpretation is quite different from those of the other observers? Have you ever had a disagreement with someone, and then afterward, you twist the details in your mind and make it out to be something so big and disastrous, while the other person feels calm and settled, having put the “simple” disagreement completely behind them? By the way, in this particular scenario, the person who is twisting the situation is typically a woman and the other is typically a man… but I digress!

Looking at our own past is quite the same as the two previous scenarios. We tend to think of events from our past through our own distorted lens. We can make mountains out of molehills, so to speak. Maybe we find that it is easier to place blame on our childhood, or on that one miserably failed relationship. Maybe it is easier to believe that the reason we are not successful, for whatever that term means to each of us, is due to circumstances or the unfair hand we feel we have been dealt.

So maybe it is time we stop creating our own fictional story about what our past means to us. Our past is simply how we choose to view it! The key word in that statement is CHOOSE. Therefore, we can choose to either change the way we think about our past, or choose to accept that our past is simply our past, and move on!

We can waste precious time and energy dwelling on a past that is really only a simple story we have created with our own warped minds, and yes, we are all warped in some small way. So I say, stop looking back… it only serves to leave you with a wicked neck ache!

Be in today, focus on the now, and live!

~ Patti Crowley