I Searched For My Soul

I searched for my soul but my soul I could not see.seeking

I searched for God but he eluded me.

I searched for my brother and found all three. Anon

 

This was heard last night, spoken by a new friend. I had to ask him to repeat it, as it took my breath away, literally. As a woman who just moved across country, alone, I found myself feeling a bit isolated one evening. All of the anticipation of this move, all of the excitement of a fresh start, a new career, and unlimited potential, slipped away for one short evening. However, that short evening felt like an eternity as the reality of my life appeared before me.

I came here to the mountains for many things. But the most important thing which I was seeking, was serenity. I prayed, hoping to find answers, and hoping to seek my soul that I had believed was hidden deep within the chaos of my life back home. But it is within me, waiting to be brought out. I thought I might find God, here in the mountains. But the truth of the matter is this… when I can connect with another human being, on a spiritual level, I have the opportunity to see my God and my soul…. maybe they are one in the same.

So, I will not isolate. I will continue to get out and say hello to every stranger I meet. For it is in connecting with another human being that I will find for what it is that I am looking. This cannot be misinterpreted as meaning that I will only find happiness in another. I believe we, as humans, are meant to connect with others. We cannot survive in isolation. We crave the human touch. We crave that personal connection we find in others. So I will seek those things daily. In so doing, I hope to find all of the wonderful things I have hoped to find. Truthfully, I don’t need to live near the mountains to find it, but it sure makes it more fun for me! 🙂

~ Patti Crowley

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Racing the Sun

racing the sun

This photo was taken on my 1770 mile drive from Chicago to Arizona last week.  Okay, so I should not have been taking a photo while driving a 20ft U-Haul truck towing my car behind at about 70 mph… but I just HAD TO!  You see, I was cruising along on the adventure of a lifetime, and it occurred to me that I was racing with the sun.  Seemingly, the sun was taking an awful long time to set. I watched it reach the horizon, attempting to settle in for it’s peaceful slumber beyond the landscape, but it just would not go down. Each mile I traveled, it was still there, just out of reach.

This thought astounded me. The sky continually changed between beautiful hues of orange and red, to deep purple. I felt as though it was taunting me, begging me to hurry up. It reminded me of being a child and playing “You’re It”. The faster I drove, the further away that horizon seemed.

All of this made me think of my life, and how many times I have chased dreams, always feeling as though they were just out of reach. But, do you know what? I eventually arrived at my destination. I made the 27 hour drive in less than two days. That is less than 48 hours! I can honestly say that I did not feel fatigued or frustrated at any single moment on the journey. My spirit was simply jumping up and down inside of me with this immense joy and anticipation. The mountains had called to me, and when I crossed over into Arizona, driving through the inexplicable beauty of Flagstaff, chasing the western sun, I said aloud to the heavens, “Mom, I’m home!”

~ Patti Crowley