Desperate to capture one last moment, one last photo, I found myself begging. Absolutely no pictures allowed! On her very last day of high school, my beautiful daughter prepared to leave. My allergies are at their worst today, so although my head was pounding, I brought my lazy butt downstairs to see her off. Last night, in a text to her father, I said the words, “It all went so fast.” A simple text that opened the flood gates for me, and I began to cry. He laughed, well actually he LOL’d, if that is a word! I am so grateful that although we’ve been divorced for 12 years, we share with each other the love for our children and mutual respect.
So, this brings me to this place of contemplation and wonder, a good place actually. In feeling that things are coming to an end, I have to remind myself that the truth is, they are only just beginning. Her story is yet unwritten, and truth be told, so is mine. This is her time, and it is also mine. Although my duties as a mom are far from being over, my life is, in many ways, truly my own. With both of my children off on their own very soon, it is time to do what I have ALWAYS wanted to do.
Years ago, my parents moved to Nevada. I remember thinking they were crazy, and was a little miffed that they would up and leave! However, in time, I learned that they were so content there, happier than I had ever seen them, actually. They had a lovely condo that overlooked the mountains. After a visit, I told my mother that one day, when the kids were grown, I would come live near the mountains too. So that is exactly what I am planning to do. With both of my parents gone now, friends have asked me what on earth I am thinking, moving across the country, ALONE. I have to chuckle at that… because that is exactly what I will not be in the mountains… ALONE. They simply cannot understand, cannot know, for what it is I am searching. How could they, when I am not even certain myself?
Herein begins my journey. My daughter and I will visit Arizona next week, where I have two job interviews set up, and we will be searching for a modest home with a view of the spectacular mountains! This trip is not only my graduation gift to her, but a gift to myself. Call me selfish, call me impulsive, if you will. I will just call me, unwritten. I cannot wait to see how the story ends!